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Post-Natal Depression

  • April 29, 2009 8:32 pm

Post-Natal Depression also called Post Post-Partum Depression (PPD) is a relatively common condition that occurs following the birth of a baby it is estimated that it occurs in approximately 10-15% of women; the severity of the condition can vary from mild depressive episodes commonly termed the “baby blues” through the spectrum to a very rare condition called “postnatal psychosis”.

The symptoms of PPD are like those which occur in ‘ordinary’ depression. These include:

  • Feeling ‘low’, ‘miserable’ and tearful with no apparent reason. The feelings are present for most of the time, though they may be worse at certain times of day, particularly the morning.
  • The inability to enjoy yourself. It is particularly prominent in new mothers who feel they aren’t enjoying having a new baby in the way they expected to. Which can lead to feeling of guilt which can compound the problem
  • You may become irritable this could be with other children, the new baby and particularly with the partner.
  • Disturbed sleeping patterns are a part of looking after a new baby. Mothers with PPD may find the additional problems of finding it hard to go to sleep even though you are tired, or waking early in the morning. In addition the lack of energy may be worse if you have PPD
  • A decreased appetite can be another symptom of PPD which can become a problem since new mothers need all the energy they can get to look after their babies.
  • Anxiety is a frequently occurring symptom in PPD. It can take many forms from being tense and ‘on edge’ all the time. The normal concerns any mother feels for a new baby may become overwhelming. Also some mothers report that they experience ‘panic attacks’ which are episodes lasting several minutes when they feel as if something catastrophic is about to happen – such as collapsing, having a heart attack or stroke.
  • Feelings of being ‘worthless’ and ‘hopeless’. These are common in PPD. All mothers are faced with new and sometimes difficult problems with a new baby. However, mothers with PND feel all the more ‘not able to cope’ and unable to see a way through their difficulties.

Nobody knows what causes PPD; although it is likely that there are several factors. Following childbirth the hormone levels change combined with the stress of looking after a new baby and disturbed sleep. Mothers who have previously had mental health problems most commonly depressive episodes or if there is a family history of depression. Studies have also shown that significant life events during pregnancy, unplanned pregnancies and babies who are born with some kind of defect can also mean that the mother is more likely to develop PPD.

PPD is very treatable and is treated using the same methods as “normal” depression (antidepressants, therapy).Getting extra support and help with looking after the baby is also important. In instances where antidepressants are necessary it can cause problems with breastfeeding, since some drugs get into breast milk, however there are drugs that are safe. You should remember that the most important thing both from the baby’s and your point of view is to get better as quickly as possible. There are a few things that you are able to do to help. Depression is an illness and you are not suffering from it because you are weak or hopeless. Also remember that it is very common and that it will get better. Don’t worry that you will lose your baby. When mothers have PPD they often think that they are poor mothers and that if they speak to somebody like their GP, they will have their baby taken from them. This will NOT happen. What will happen is that you will get the help that you need to get rid of the PPD. Having a baby is tiring and stressful for any mother, you will not be able to manage all the things that you did before the birth. Reduce your commitments and accept help when it is offered. It is important that if you have a partner that you involve your partner. Having a young baby will be difficult for him too and he will be concerned about your illness. Encourage him to speak to your health visitor or GP so they can understand the illness you have, it is also important that you make time for yourself and with your partner. I can’t stress enough that if you have PPD it is NOT your fault and that with support it will help end the episode of illness as quickly as possible.

Mothers with PPD often worry about harming their babies, or not looking after them properly; generally they look after their children at least as well as other mothers. Unfortunately mothers and other family members do sometimes harm babies (battered babies). Very rarely a mother with postnatal psychosis may harm her child, this may be because she is suffering from false beliefs (delusions) such as that the child is terminally ill. Another option is that mothers may kill their babies before committing suicide themselves thinking that it is better for both of them to be dead. It is important to stress that cases are very rare and that PPD and postnatal psychosis are treatable illnesses and the sooner they are treated the better. If you have any worries that you may harm your baby, or you have worries that a mum you know may harm their child, speak to a health visitor or doctor as soon as possible. Due to the current system health professionals monitor the situation very closely however they are not mind readers if you feel that you may be experiencing PPD it is important to express these concerns to your health visitor.

Having suffered from PPD myself I can’t stress the importance of getting help as early as possible and it is NOT your fault and there is nothing you can do to prevent PPD and it is possible to have a normal life after the illness is treated and cured. My daughter is now 2 and we have a happy and healthy relationship

Dealing with other people’s kids

  • April 9, 2009 8:24 pm

We’ve all come across people who’s kids are a nightmare, so you try to avoid inviting them to your house because their parents wont tell the kid off when it’s tipping your kids toys all over the place and possibly breaking them….that’s assuming you have kids if you don’t its probably your china. You want to say something but you’re not sure how to approach the situation without causing bad feeling between you and the parent, we’ve all been there it’s a difficult position but it needs to be addressed somehow as it is your home that is being broken and unless you are a multi-millionaire you can’t afford to keep replacing your stuff. So here are a few ideas that may help.

I’ve found that as I have kids if it isn’t raining you could send the kids outside, obviously they are being supervised by you and their parents, the garden toys are more durable than those that are inside. Also means that there is less mess to clean up when they leave. If however you don’t have a garden or the weather is typical of that of the UK (raining alot) then put toys out that are fairly durable and if possible put all other toys out of the way. You can tell the child “no” if they are going towards things that you don’t want them to touch, this may alert the parent to what their child is doing, another option could be distracting the child.

If you really can’t bear the idea of having the child in your house then you could arrange to meet at somewhere else, preferably somewhere that it is child friendly such as a indoor play area or a park to avoid tantrums as a result of boredom.

What to put in your hospital bag

  • April 9, 2009 6:31 pm

I was rather surprised when a friend of mine asked me what to put in her hospital bag and when she should pack it, she then explained that the pregnancy magazines contained lists but each list had different stuff and gave different advice on when to pack it. I told her that both with my 1st pregnancy and with my current (2nd) pregnancy I packed my hospital bag at around 6 months that way it doesn’t matter if the baby appears early and it also leaves enough time to get anything I haven’t got. I’ve also got the rest of the stuff such as Moses basket and the rest of the stuff like the sterilisers etc ready so I wasn’t rushing around at the last minute trying to get everything ready at the last minute; However I do know women who left it til the last minute and coped fine, so it is up to the individual.

Here is a list of what I put in my bag, this is only the basics you can add to this:

  • 2 Nighties with a front fastening
  • 4 Maternity Bras
  • 4 Pairs of pants
  • 1 Pair of Slippers
  • 3 Baby Vests
  • 3 Sleep suits
  • 1 Baby Hat
  • 1 Pack of Nappies
  • 1 Pack of Breast Pads
  • 1 Pack of Maternity Pads
  • 1 Towel for You
  • 1 Towel for Baby
  • 1 Dressing Gown
  • Cotton Wool
  • Deodorant
  • Shampoo
  • Toothbrush
  • Toothpaste
  • Shower Gel
  • Hair Brush

Obviously you will also need your maternity notes, to leave the hospital you will need a car seat, a blanket and possibly a jumper depending on the time of year. You can also take a camera, an MP3 player and a book, however I would recommend that you keep the number of valuables you take with you to a minimum.

Toys that could enhance your child’s development

  • April 4, 2009 6:26 pm

All toys could potentially enhance your child’s development as long as you use them at the appropriate time, for example the toys you would use to enhance your child’s development as a baby are not the same as those that you would use for a toddler.

For the purpose of this article I am going to focus on toys for toddlers.

  • Matching games such as snap or dominoes are great, they encourage the child to recognise when things are the same and when they are different. It also encourages them to take turns.
  • Giving your child paper and something to draw with helps develop hand-eye coordination as well as their fine motor skills.
  • Building bricks are good as they aid gross motor skill
  • Toys that allow your child to use their imagination such as pots and pans, these encourage your child to broaden his or her vocabulary, they also open opportunities for interaction, it is also allows the child to explore and make sense of the world around them.

I’m not saying that you need alot of expensive toys just a few good quality ones that aren’t even that expensive. Other things that will make a difference to your child’s development is talking to your child as a normal person rather than dumbing things down to the level of a baby. Also giving your child the opportunity to be independent but at the same time having very clear boundaries about the type of behaviour that it is acceptable and the consequences for unacceptable behaviour. Involve the child in daily tasks such as setting the table, this provides the child with numerous benefits such as learning the vocabulary for everyday items as well as boosting the child’s self esteem if you give them praise for helping you, as toddlers attempt to imitate adults so if they feel that they are achieving the aim successfully it will boost their confidence.