Given that alot of parents are having more than one child, the question is how do you deal with being pregnant and explaining this to your children?

My daughter was approximately 18 months when I found out that I was pregnant again; we told her that she had to be careful of mummy’s tummy because there was a baby in there. This caused great confusion for my daughter as she thought I had eaten the baby! Which provided great amusement for our friends.

I’ve had lots of complications with this pregnancy and have tried to explain what is going on as simply as I can to my daughter. It is best not to hide things from your children as this will cause more distress for them, it is a big enough change for them that you are having another child. You may notice that your child may regress slightly either while you are pregnant or after you have had the baby, or that their behaviour deteriorates to some degree. If they either regress or their behaviour deteriorates deal with it calmly it is simply your child showing that they either don’t understand or are unsure about the current situation, so yelling at them won’t help.

Here are a few things that may make things a little easier:

  • Get your child into a good routine
  • Explain what is going on as simply as you can, you may find stories helpful such as “There’s a house inside my mummy”.
  • Make time for one to one with your children, this will help to ensure that they are not pushed out
  • Include them in getting things ready for the new arrival, don’t force them to be if they don’t want to
  • If possible have an activity in your routine that is not baby related, in our case this is playgroup for 2 sessions a week. If you are planning to put your child in daycare aim to this at least 6 weeks before the baby is due this gives them a chance to settle in without them interpreting it as “mummy and daddy have a new baby and don’t want me anymore.”
  • Buy a gift from the baby to the child, this may help as people will obviously buy gifts for the baby so again it stops the child feeling pushed out, the gift doesn’t have to be something big or expensive
  • If you have to go into hospital, allow your child to visit you. This allows the child to see that you are OK and that you haven’t abandoned them
  • Try not to talk about the baby all the time, this will only frustrate the child especially if they are not responding to the news that you are having another baby very well

If you are concerned about how your child is responding to the news then speak either to you midwife or health visitor who will be able to give you advice.