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School Phobia – Fact or Fiction?

  • February 6, 2010 7:17 pm

A school is being asked to apologise to the family of a boy it prosecuted for truancy. The boy was diagnosed as having “school phobia”, but what is that?

Most adults can remember days when they didn’t want to go to school. There would be claims of illness, and of the danger of passing on an unpleasant disease, before the eventual acceptance that the journey into school was inevitable. So it is not surprising that many might react with scepticism to the idea that there is such a thing as “school phobia”.

According to Nigel Blagg, author of School Phobia and Its Treatment, it is a condition that has been recognised since the 1960s. “They will experience extreme anxiety. They are off school, typically with their parents’ knowledge and approval. And they often have symptoms like tummy aches, head aches and nausea. Some of them suffer severely with depression. “Any attempts to get them to school, when they are at their worst can lead to quite extreme behaviour – temper tantrums, screaming, kicking. It is very distressing for the adults.”

The sceptics categorise these children as truants, but, says Mr Blagg, a former local authority educational psychologist who now runs a private practice, they are quite distinct in background and behaviour: “They are typically well behaved, socially conforming who are usually doing quite well. Normally they come from caring families. The truant group are the ones who [miss] school because they want to… often involved in delinquent behaviour.”

It is thought the worst ages for school phobia are five to six and 11-14, says Mr Blagg. There are no precise numbers for how many children suffer the condition, but he notes one estimate is that 1% of children will have it at one point during their school careers. A day at school is not every child’s idea of fun.

But the diagnosis is not without controversy, and even the term is subject to dispute, says Mr Blagg. “In the psychological world the preferred term these days is school refusal. [But] school refusal doesn’t convey the extreme distress, anxiety and panic, the physical symptoms that these children experience or the fact that it isn’t a volitional state.” There is a recognition among psychologists and other education professionals that school phobia/school refusal covers a range of different problems.

Some of the younger sufferers can be diagnosed as having “separation anxiety”, leaving them distressed at parting from their parents at the school gate. But some psychologists say this is more about refusal, not phobia – a true school phobic will experience a reaction even if their parents are present. “Other children could be classified as having a social phobia to do with performance aspects of school – reading out loud or changing for PE,” says Mr Blagg. Other children might be off sick for a prolonged period, fall behind with work and fall out of a routine. Some might simply have changed school and lost friends they relied on to feel secure at school. Still others may have had a single distressing experience. “More typically what you have is an accumulation of stresses to do with home and school that add up over time and cause the child to be anxious,” says Mr Blagg.

School phobia – irrational fear of school or the school situation
School refusal – Refusal on the part of a child to attend school
Refusal to go to school may be caused by a school phobia but most school refusals due to separation anxiety
In a true school phobia a child will show the phobic reaction even if his or her parents are present
Source: Penguin Dictionary of Psychology

“The avoidance leads to greater problems. They fall behind with school work. They worry what friends will say. The longer they are out the worse the problems get. If they are told they don’t have to go they feel fine and the symptoms disappear.”

Not only is there disagreement over the name for the condition, but also how to treat it, and whether it exists at all. Sociologist Prof Frank Furedi, author of Wasted: Why Education Isn’t Educating, is not convinced. “You take an understandable anxiety about going to school and turn it into a disease… Children will internalise it and play the role that’s been assigned to them. It cultivates the idea that these [exaggerated medically diagnosable] anxieties are normal. You do begin to encourage children to think in these terms.”

Even if you do accept that school phobia exists, there can still be disagreement over the best approach to tackling it. Mr Blagg insists that while educational psychologists, teachers and parents must be sensitive to the child’s needs, they must recognise that confrontation and getting the child back to school is necessary.
“They need that very firm handling and confronting them and getting them back to school. You might have to take them to school and escort them [in].” For those who have been away schools should assign tutors, help them catch up and offer them quiet space to be in while they are adjusting.

There are some advocates of home schooling who believe that rather than being a psychological aberration requiring a cure, the symptoms of school phobia may simply indicate that the child is best educated away from the school, at home. Ann Newstead, a spokesperson for the home tuition charity Education Otherwise, says school phobia is a “very real condition”. “I see a lot of families where they are in that situation – you only have to meet the children and families to see that it’s not a made up condition. It’s genuine. Not sending your child to school is something parents can be prosecuted for. You don’t risk prosecution lightly. You wouldn’t dream of forcing an adult to engage in an environment that wasn’t beneficial to them. So why do we think it’s ok to treat children in this way?”

But aren’t children more malleable? Doesn’t keeping them back from school indulge their fear rather than tackle the problem? “I agree with the tackling but not the forcing of it. That’s like treating someone who is scared of spiders by putting a spider in their hand. You tackle these things gradually, help someone to overcome a phobia and home education is a way of doing that.” More generally, many schools seek to make some of the changes for children less stressful, for example working on acclimatisation for children moving up to secondary school but Prof Furedi does not believe that such a sensitive treatment is necessarily always helpful. “Kids going from primary school to secondary school often get transitional counselling. If you tell them enough times this is an extremely difficult, painful step, you make the kids more anxious.”

The sceptics of this theory are making their voices heard here are just a few:

  • Bill Thorpe: “Thirty years of teaching in inner city schools has shown me that as soon as a “syndrome” is named, you can be sure that you’ll have a rash of ‘diagnosed’ sufferers within a few weeks. (Tourettes for example). Even if “School phobia” is real; and the pupil who have been prosecuted is a sufferer.. Why should the school apologise? Presumably the evidence of non-attendance was real and provable. The “syndrome” is a circumstance that can be considered by the court. The school is right to pursue truants, their only evidence is attendance records.”
  • Yes, phobias exist in school settings, but I don’t think that there is actually a school phobia. The reason why the profile of all these school phobiasts are “well behaved, socially conforming….” is for the simple fact that they are suck ups that probably get whatever they want, and their mommies and daddies cradle their kids until their out of college. I think everybody at some point or for a period of time didn’t want to go to school. This was probably because we had to deal with something we didn’t want to, like: giving a speech, a bully, or maybe getting up too early. These fears or anxieties are normal for everybody. Being afraid of a public institution is just another way to label something else we want to have as an excuse to coddle our kids.
  • This is ridiculous. There is always a name for anything that makes us as adults uncomfortable. I am a teacher and i have dealt with children who don’t want to come to school, one is now okay as he realised nobody was going to put up with his nonsense. The other left the school as he was very good at manipulating his mother who just did whatever her children wanted. We need to stop labelling children and helping them to come up with excuses. I am sure when they grow up with no qualifications and become yet again another burden on society we will think of another psychological condition to excuse. The problem with the west, too many excuses for bad and manipulative behaviour!!

To be honest me and my partner accept that there is anxiety for some children with regards to school but we’re are uncertain about whether there is such a thing as school phobias. With things like this it raises concerns about the impact on both the education system and the NHS. The education system will become too afraid to act if they suspect truancy and the NHS will be inundated with claims of children who allegedly have school phobia; Not only that but you risk creating a self fulfilling prophercy, if you tell someone something often enough they start to believe it. You are also providing truants with another excuse to skip school

To Cry or Not to Cry?

  • January 26, 2010 7:45 am

We all know that babies cry, so my question is, is it ok to let them cry sometimes or not?
Well on the one hand babies cry for a reason so if you drop whatever you’re doing as soon as you hear them crying and find out what they need then that can be good, as you are meeting the needs of your baby.

However allowing that child to cry teaches them to wait and can in some cases stop them from becoming a mardy child. From a parents perspective it seems to be that the general concensus is that it’s ok to choose a little from colum A and a little from colum B. Basically what this means is that in some cases it is best to drop whatever you’re doing and in other cases to let the child cry. As parents you quickly learn to distinguish the diffference between different cries and if in doubt you watch what they are doing, so you know which ones it is ok to delay attending to.

If you child is in pain then NEVER ignore this one, or if your child is ill. However if your child is crying because they are tired it is ok to put them in their cot or pushchair, to sleep and leave them to settle themselves checking every 5 mins to make sure that they are ok. THis has positive benefits for the child as it teaches them to settle themselves. Which in turn is beneficial for you as it means that you don’t have to spend ages trying to get your child to sleep then attempt to change the habit when they get older, as one parent found out. She was a single mother and would sit cuddling her son till he fell asleep, sometimes it took 5 minutes other times it took hours. As the child got older and moved into his own room it took her years to get her son out of this habit, 5 to be exact. Not only does it take ages to change the habits but it can also cause other problems such as only you can put the child to bed thus meaning that if you wanted to go out, you wouldn’t be able to go very far in case the child woke up. Plus if you have a partner then in some cases the child wont settle if your partner tries to put the child to bed.

Some parents say that they find that they can’t get anything done. As a mother of 2 I’ve found that the following things can help:

  • Putting the baby in a sling/baby carrier
  • Putting the child in a bouncer and moving it from room to room with you
  • Putting them on a mat surrounded by toys then move it when you leave the room (this only applies if you are out of the room for more than a few minutes)
  • If your child is mobile a playpen with plenty of toys in can be helpful

At the end of the day it is your child you have to do what is right for you and your lifestyle.

Babies ‘cry in mother’s tongue’

  • January 12, 2010 7:16 pm

According to german researchers babies begin to pick up the nuances of their parents’ accents while still in the womb. They studied the cries of 60 healthy babies born to families speaking French and German. The French newborns cried with a rising “accent” while the German babies’ cries had a falling inflection. They suggest that the babies are probably trying to form a bond with their mothers by imitating them.

The findings suggest that unborn babies are influenced by the sound of the first language that penetrates the womb. It was already known that foetuses could memorise sounds from the outside world in the last three months of pregnancy and were particularly sensitive to the contour of the melody in both music and human voices. Earlier studies had shown that infants could match vowel sounds presented to them by adult speakers, but only from 12 weeks of age.

Kathleen Wermke from the University of Wurzburg, who led the research, said: “The dramatic finding of this study is that not only are human neonates capable of producing different cry melodies, but they prefer to produce those melody patterns that are typical for the ambient language they have heard during their foetal life. Newborns are highly motivated to imitate their mother’s behaviour in order to attract her and hence to foster bonding. “Contrary to orthodox interpretations, these data support the importance of human infants’ crying for seeding language development.” Dr Wermke’s team recorded and analysed the cries of 60 healthy newborns when they were three to five days old.

The analysis revealed clear differences in the shape of the infants’ cry melodies that corresponded to their mother tongue. They say the babies need only well-co-ordinated respiratory-laryngeal systems to imitate melody contours and not the vocal control that develops later. Dr Wermke said: “Newborns are highly motivated to imitate their mother’s behaviour in order to attract her and hence to foster bonding. Because melody contour may be the only aspect of their mother’s speech that newborns are able to imitate, this might explain why we found melody contour imitation at that early age.”

Debbie Mills, a reader in developmental cognitive neuroscience at Bangor University, said: “This is really interesting because it suggests that they are producing sounds they have heard in the womb and that means learning and that it is not an innate behaviour. Many of the early infant behaviours are almost like reflexes that go away after the first month and then come back later in a different form. It would be interesting to look at these babies after a month and see if their ability to follow the melodic contours of their language is still there.”

Dealing with other people’s kids

  • April 9, 2009 8:24 pm

We’ve all come across people who’s kids are a nightmare, so you try to avoid inviting them to your house because their parents wont tell the kid off when it’s tipping your kids toys all over the place and possibly breaking them….that’s assuming you have kids if you don’t its probably your china. You want to say something but you’re not sure how to approach the situation without causing bad feeling between you and the parent, we’ve all been there it’s a difficult position but it needs to be addressed somehow as it is your home that is being broken and unless you are a multi-millionaire you can’t afford to keep replacing your stuff. So here are a few ideas that may help.

I’ve found that as I have kids if it isn’t raining you could send the kids outside, obviously they are being supervised by you and their parents, the garden toys are more durable than those that are inside. Also means that there is less mess to clean up when they leave. If however you don’t have a garden or the weather is typical of that of the UK (raining alot) then put toys out that are fairly durable and if possible put all other toys out of the way. You can tell the child “no” if they are going towards things that you don’t want them to touch, this may alert the parent to what their child is doing, another option could be distracting the child.

If you really can’t bear the idea of having the child in your house then you could arrange to meet at somewhere else, preferably somewhere that it is child friendly such as a indoor play area or a park to avoid tantrums as a result of boredom.

Polite Children

  • February 9, 2009 10:18 am

Does anyone ever notice the total look of surprise when a child uses their manners?
I didn’t until yesterday when I took my daughter (aged 22 months) to a birthday party and because when people asked if she wanted things she said please and then thank you when given whatever it was, the look of surprise on their faces was enough to make you laugh.

I didn’t think it was unusual for a child to be well behaved and polite as I have always been taught that this is right so why do other parents find it odd? I’m guessing that it is because in today’s society manners don’t seem to count for very much, some blame the parents who live on council estates claiming that they are lazy and don’t bother teaching their kids manners but this is unfair as I know quite a few parents off council estates and their kids are polite. Others blame the parents who work long hours and put their kids in daycare but this is unfair because daycare places encourage children to be polite. The final theory is that children are afraid that being ridiculed by their peers for using manners if their peers don’t or simply forget; this is plausible because most people want to fit in with their peers so adopt the same behaviours as them, or if they forget again that is possible as everyone forgets things from time to time.

So in conclusion manners don’t seem to be as important as you progress down the generations but those who do use them shouldn’t be greeted with a look of shock as it makes the child doubt that what they are doing is right, which is unfair if that is what they have been taught is the correct way to behave.

Bed Time

  • January 6, 2008 5:50 pm

Tired of the tantrums at bedtime?
Well the secret to avoiding these is a good bedtime routine:

  • Give them their dinner
  • Give them a warm bath
  • Give a drink
  • Story (optional more for older children than babies)
  • Put them into bed

    • Aim to do this sequence at around the same time every night, although I wouldn’t have fixed times for these as if something happens it throws the whole routine out.

    When I put my child to bed they always cry what should I do?
    Leave the child to cry they will soon settle down; my daughter sometimes cries I leave her and within 20mins she has gone quiet, I know it sounds cruel but it works.

    If your child gets out of bed crying trying to follow you back downstairs put them back into bed and leave the room; keep repeating this until the child stays in bed.

    Avoid having your child sleeping in your bed at night as none of you get a particularly good night’s sleep, plus it disturbs any intimate moments you have with your partner.

    For older children reward charts are sometimes helpful as it gives the child an incentive to behave.

Say goodbye to Brats!

  • January 5, 2008 7:58 pm

Every parent wants a well behaved child, well I’ve yet to meet someone who doesn’t. Anyway I’ve found that introducing a punishment and reward system from an early age (we started at 6 months) helps; although some feel that this system is too harsh and feel that this shouldn’t be introduced until the child is older and then they should be in time out for a minute for each year of their life; so if your child is 2 then its 2 minutes. This is my system, you can make up your own mind:

1. You say no
2. If they carry on, you say no again, and tell them that they will go in/on their time out zone
3. If they still continue, put them in/on their time out zone for between 5 and 10 mins.

Now for the tricky part tantrums, they are usually caused by one or both of the following:

1. Boredom
2. Tiredness

If its safe to do so walk away and ignore it.
But if it isn’t safe, for example in the middle of town:

1. Distract the child- don’t give them what they want as this encourages them to have a tantrum to get what they want, but you could play games such as i spy.
2. Get out of the situation as soon as you can.

ALWAYS PUNISH AT TIME RATHER THAN DELAYING AS THE PUNISHMENT WILL NOT BE EFFECTIVE AS THE CHILD WON’T MAKE THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THEIR BAD BEHAVIOUR AND THE PUNISHMENT!

As my mum is forever telling me prevention is better than cure so here are some handy hints to avoid shopping hell:
1. Involve the child in what you are doing, for example when food shopping give the child their own list and let them get those items when you get to them. In the case of babies make sure you have toys for them.
2. Avoid times when your child is tired
3. Keep trips as short as possible to activities that are not child orientated, like shopping.
4. If you can avoid busy periods

One of the things most people seem to forget is the good behaviour it’s important to acknowledge it, as in psychology its known as positive reinforcement, basically if you reward good behaviour either through praise or a physical reward (e.g. a sweet) the child repeats the behaviour. For older children sometimes reward charts can help, for younger children praise and the occasional physical reward is enough.